AAYP 2018 Youth Ambassadors Scholarship

Elaine Lau

ABC is an acronym I identify with. No, I’m not a part of the television broadcasting company, nor am I a part of the alphabet choir on Sesame Street. I am an American Born Chinese–forever bound by an acronym.

Growing up as a Chinese-American, I was never considered American by those around me. Instead, I experienced all types of discrimination about my ethnicity, ranging from typical stereotypes to racial slurs. Peers of mine were never afraid to, subtly or not, remind me of the color of my skin, or more commonly the squint in my eyes. Even in my early adolescence, I was
susceptible to generalizations by my peers of me eating spring rolls for lunch and soy-sauce with rice for dinner every day. It became so frequent to hear what was thought by them to be a “joke” that I began to beat them to the punchline to downplay the hurt I felt. I would brush off their snide comments about my race as well as the embarrassment I felt, whether it be to fit in or to lessen the pain I felt from each remark. Eventually, I began questioning my identity as an Asian-American. Slowly, I was forgetting the culture I was raised in. I was losing my identity, piece by piece. I wanted to be like my friends who were able to eat pancakes and waffles on Sunday mornings, instead of eating shumai at a dim sum restaurant. I wanted to feel the cold, hard steel of the playground slide against my fingertips, instead of the rigid plastic keys of the piano. I carried on that burden for what felt like an eternity.

Guangzhou, China is where I learned to assemble the broken pieces of my identity together. There, I watched red lanterns sway with the gentle wind as they illuminated in the night sky, bringing a wave of gratification that I never thought I’d feel. I listened to the laughter of children who witnessed the amazing sight for the first time, just like me. We shared the similar sentiments of being carefree, energetic, and most of all appreciative of our traditions that continue to amaze generations upon generations. My Chinese background isn’t a matter to be ashamed of, but one that should be cherished with pride and dignity. When I came back from my trip, I felt connected with my Chinese roots and allowed that connection to spread. Since then, I have become the leader of my school’s Asian Culture Club, where we fundraise to provide education to children in poverty stricken Asian countries, and spread awareness of cultural discrimination. The pride that bloomed from a glimpse of my culture has continued to flourish with my every advance to embrace Chinese customs. With my every action, I move one step towards bridging the gap between American and Chinese culture and embodying the true values of an American Born Chinese.

My diverse upbringing and eagerness to explore will certainly contribute to the Asian community’s quest to be inventive, dauntless, and tenacious. Raised by two immigrant parents, I was burdened by responsibilities that many other thirteen-year-olds were not. Due to their lack of formal education, my parents weren’t able to attain the highest paying employment opportunities. There were times where we would wonder what our next meal would be, if we were to have one that is. Growing up in this environment instilled a sense of determination and perseverance within me that I still carry on to this day. Motivation to become successful, to please my parents, and to bring pride to the Asian community ran through my blood as it continues to today. It is with these experiences that I know I will be able to channel these qualities and share my story of diligence to the world. My passion to express my identity, and my desire to find opportunities to benefit the community and make the most of them is what makes me a unique model to those that struggle to assimilate with the American lifestyle.

Yes, I am an ABC–forever emerging from the bounds of an acronym that were set before
me.